Not what I expected

I have been so excited about this challenge, so I didn't expect embarassment and shame to be the two strongest feelings I felt inside when I went into the Salvation Army's food bank on Notre Dame Avenue.

I have food at home -- why am I taking food from people who need it? Even though we all made donations to the food banks to cover the cost of the food, it still feels like I am stealing, taking food away from people who really actually need it. I tell myself over and over that we've made donations, and that our actions will draw attention to a really dire situation.

Somehow, my heart isn't listening.

My Uncle drove me to the food bank, so I show up in a nice black car, wearing my business clothes. Clean black slacks and a businessy-pretty shirt. Overdressed. Very conspicuous. The entire time, I felt as if people were staring at me, thinking "Why is she getting food from the food bank?"

Like Larry and Kathy, who posted below me, I couldn't help but wonder if people thought I was abusing the assistance of the people at the food bank.

The feeling was amplified when I left carrying a big box. The bus stop outside was full, and I could just imagine all those people knowing I need help and had to go for food (even though I'm taking part in a challenge). I wrapped my grey hoodie tighter and tried to look miserable. It wasn't hard.

To me, these things really emphasized how poverty is a really cruel foe. Not only do people in poverty have to make do with what they can afford to eat, they have to go to outside help for food. But the emotional trauma that comes with it? It really hurts -- for me, it's just a ghost of the wound people who are truly in this situation must experience.

Thank you to the kind people at the Salvation Army. I expect when people come in needing help, your kindness and friendliness helps them find strength.